Getting started....

In the beginning.....

Wow, where do you begin with one of these? Am I just kidding myself? Maybe I'm too old to have a blog of my own.....

OK....so as you can see by the picture, I started out life by being an "inside the box" kind of girl. That started to change in my early thirties as I started finding my own voice (admittedly it took two failed marriages and a good deal of time on my own to find that voice, but that's ancient history).

So now that I'm finally coming into my own (51 is quickly creeping up, yikes!) I'm really starting to enjoy my life. I have a great group of friends, interesting volunteer work that I do on a daily basis, and a hubby that's pretty darned okay. If I only had the chance to travel a bit more I think it would be pretty perfect, but I'm not complaining. I love where I live and can't wait for the spring, my favorite season.

Speaking of spring, I have a ritual that I really enjoy each year. I was fortunate enough to live with my great grandfather until I was 14 - he was 96 when he passed away. He emigrated to America at the age of 16 and made a new life for himself and found work as a landscape architect in New Jersey. He had a green thumb that was unbelievable and could literally make anything grow! Every spring he would plant the little seedlings and bulbs and nurture them through the summer and our garden and yard would look like a showplace in a magazine. I was so in awe of him that I used to follow him around in the yard each afternoon and he told me what he knew about loving and respecting the earth.


Now every spring when it comes time to have my hands in the dirt I have a running conversation in my head with him - about my yard, my life, remembering what he taught me so many years ago, and mostly just letting him know that I still think of him and hold his memory close. Funny, but out of my entire family I feel closest to him. When I got divorced I changed my last name to his - Rafi - and have kept it even though I remarried. I feel most like a Rafi than anything else I've ever been. Just goes to show you never know how you'll influence someone......I miss him still.This is my great grandfather with five of his six children - My grandmother Marie, My great uncle Steve, my great aunt (and godmother) Emma, my great aunt Rose and my great uncle Harry. Emma and Steve are still alive - Emma is 94 and Harry is 89, and both live alone and are completely independent - hope I get that gene from them!

So, the rest of the family.......well......

Mom was kinda quiet and loved being a mom. I am the youngest of three girls. Older sisters Judy and Karen who are now 60 and 53 respectively. I have several nieces and nephews but admit that I am not close to any of them...not sisters or their kids. We had a family secret that kept us from being close to each other and when I went public it really was the straw that broke the camel's back. I am a child of incest, thus no mention of my father here. Suffice it to say he's dead and forgotten, sad, but ancient history.

All in all I think I've turned out pretty okay. I'm happy with my life, and talking with people makes me realize that I'm kind of unique in that way...not many people are really happy with their lives. They tend to think if they had more time, more money, more things...somehow they'd be happier.

I guess I've learned that my needs and my wants are two different things. I have not only much more than I could want, but much more than I need. I really am lucky.

This is about 25 years ago - me, my sister Judy, my sister Karen and my mom. Wow, things change.